06 August 2008

aww.. it's funny cuz it's true...

There's something about weddings that's seriously screwed up. So many expectations, it's impossible to tackle the rationality! Take, for example, guest lists. Obviously, unless you're in the top 0.1% of the US pay bracket, you're going to need to trim the fat somewhere. And what the heck is up with people you hardly know - but are related to via some 3rd cousin half removed - feeling entitled to an invite? And then getting pissy when they don't? It's as if weddings are a blank check for people to drink the crazy juice.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family. And I love my friends. I'm deeply saddened I don't get the opportunity to see them more often. That said, I want for our wedding to be personal. You know what I mean? IE, we know the people we see there, we can actually hang out with them, and it doesn't turn into a "fawn over the Mr. & Miss Bear Cub"-fest. Thanks, but I'd rather not have 200 eyes on me. I can hardly handle 30 when I teach!

The problem is, I have a huge fam. And Mr. Bear Cub has a huge base of friends. This is a good thing, but it's also very bittersweet. I want my wedding cake, and I want to eat it, too!
How is it possible to help everyone to feel included in the wedding, without ballooning the guestlist?? (I think the answer will win the Nobel Peace prize.)


  1. We recently went one where the couple had the ceremony the day before with just very close family and friends and then a bigger reception the next day. Or another friend that had a small destination wedding and then a larger reception when they got back.
    Maybe you could throw a more casual, party type "reception" for the not so close family and friends? Then all eyes wouldn't be on you quite so much.

  2. Caitlan's suggestion is great. You also just gotta be selfish a little bit, I think. Sometimes couples fall into a trap of planning their wedding around what will make everyone ELSE happy, when really, it's their big day (and their big budget...or small budget). There's no point stressing yourself out and stretching financially to accommodate people that you just can't. I guess that's the real problem - taming the wedding beast enough to contain both your and your guests' happiness...

  3. Initially when we started inviting people to our wedding, the guest list just snowballed alarmingly and in the end we just decided to do the extreme and have something very personal and small. If you want something more intimate just invite direct families (parents, grandparents, siblings...) and a few really close friends and voila.

  4. sorry it´s taken me forever to get back to you (about the car!) but I will do sooooon, promise!!

  5. I just found your blog through 2000 dollar budget wedding blog....and your post caught my eye because I too currently live in Chile with my husband and we are planning our "big" wedding in CO! Just wanted to say HI to a fellow expat :)